I'm just a girl with a blog

Clarity

There’s nothing like a little clarity to knock you out of your idyllic dream world.

I’m having a hard time at work the past few days. I was always aware that the two girls I work with are quite close with each other (close than I am with either one) and that’s cool with me. They are quite similar and I don’t wish to be that close to any work colleague as it is. Over the past few months I’ve slowly learnt that the friendship I thought we had is not quite so. In December someone started spreading rumours about me at work (separate issue) and these two girls believed him over me, despite this person being a notorious liar. This was the first indicator that the so-called friendship is a little one sided.

Yesterday they went to lunch together as they usually do, again fine by me except when it’s busy and I’m left on my own but in the big scheme of things it’s not important. We get 30 minutes for our lunch break but they took over an hour. This is not necessarily my business as I don’t pay their wages, however an apology or some sort of acknowledgement that they had taken so long would have been nice. I realise now that this was probably expecting too much! Anyway as I was so annoyed by them (their spending time on facebook instead of working then passing work onto me is also another pet peeve!) I was quiet yesterday afternoon, not rudely so but just not chatting or taking part in their conversation. I had sent an email whilst they were out asking for them to remember to do something in order for me to report on an area I manage so I’m unsure if that (as I CC’d their manager in as they simply ignore my verbal requests – admittedly the email was sent due to my annoyance but wasn’t in the least bit rude as it was simply “please remember to do this so I can report”) or the quietness on my part has caused the behaviour I’m experiencing or not.

Yesterday one was right bitch – sorry but there is no other way to describe it and the other one just didn’t answer me when I spoke but at least wasn’t nasty. This morning I had gotten over myself and was starting fresh, today is a new day after all. I said good morning to each as usual, one could barely manage a response (I’m still unsure what it was but as it was the bitchy one I feel like it’s best I don’t know!) and the other ignored me. So pretty much the same as yesterday afternoon. Now I feel like I’m probably being overly sensitive as it is definitely their problem (and I am sure that my quietness contributed to their sulk yesterday); however as I work with these two girls and sit very closely to them it does make it a little awkward. There is one other person who sits near us, he sits behind me and we are quite good friends so I’m happy he’s there or it would be a quiet sad time for me! He was only recently moved there and so I’m ever so grateful.

I was messaging my Mum on facebook earlier and venting to her, nearly in tears (unlike me as I’m not a crier – it makes me angry then I cry more and become a teary mess!) and venting to her certainly helped. Now I’m finishing my venting with this blog in order to let this go and rise above.

I have this tight spot at the top of my spine where my neck and shoulders met; it is easing as I feel less irritated and more amused by the “little darlings” behaviour.

I’ve never really had friends in workplaces purely as I want to avoid this sort of awkward and unnecessary stress but I’ve been here nearly 5 years and it’s a long time to work somewhere. The other girls 1 & 2 years each but as we are all a similar age we seemed to fall into socialising outside of work. I don’t socialise with them as much as they do with one another nor do I have a steady stream of texts/snap chats etc either. I am glad that a close friend is back from Australia until Wednesday so we along with a few others I’ve not seen for a while are going to catch up this weekend plus am out to dinner with another set of friends tomorrow night so I will be well past this by the time Monday rolls around. I can only hope these other two have gotten over themselves by then too.

I normally would call someone out when behaving this way as I dislike such tension but as I said above I don’t feel like this is my problem, and as they don’t have the decency to tell me what it is that is bothering them I won’t be asking.

The moment of clarity came when messaging Mum; this isn’t my problem and this is always going to happen when women work together. Also; I’m not going to let the pettiness of others bring me down, they have no right to any space in my head so out that negative energy goes!

Rant over, I’m looking forward to the weekend and enjoying spending time with my friends.

Have a lovely weekend folks.

Crazy Cat Lady xx

Welcome 2015

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had a good time celebrating the end of 2014 and beginning of 2015.

It’s been quite some time since I have written here, life sometimes gets away on me and I find that I don’t have time for small pleasures like writing a blog or reading a book. Lately I’ve been reading a lot more, forcing myself to read (as although I enjoy it I’ve been cramming in serious amounts of Netflix watching) and just really relax and take time away from the laptop or iPhone.

Since I last posted I have moved house twice. The first was mid October to a temporary home with a workmate and her partner. I’m so grateful that I could stay with them and they even allowed me to bring the cats. One of my cats got along fabulously with their cat, my other cat however I believe became the victim to the other two! We now live in a small two room house which is hidden behind another (it is entirely separate) and I recently discovered I have a plum and peach tree in the backyard! It’s so nice living on my own, I never thought I would as I would have described myself as an extrovert who required human companionship. Turns out I’m not quite as extroverted as I thought and this time on my own has brought on some realisations that although I love my family and friends dearly and love the time I spend with them; that time I have on my own (with or without the cats) is SO important to me. I have a very close friend who comes to visit me frequently purely because he knows that he can come and sit and watch TV or a movie or just sit quietly and no conversation is required. We have spent an entire day in silence just enjoying the quiet yet enjoying the company. I know so very few people who can just sit peacefully in silence and it not feel awkward, or rather them not feel awkward and force a conversation. I am now a firm believer that everyone should live on their own, it’s a good way to reflect on what is important to you and the things that you value. For me; it’s that quiet alone time. And when I say quiet, it’s not! I always have the radio on so my house is never silent but it’s so peaceful and I cherish that. My cats are so much happier here, they don’t fight as much as they used to, dare I say they may even be beginning to like one another!

We have performance reviews at work every year in December and this year I was lucky enough to be given a decent size pay rise which is fantastic as living on my own is somewhat more expensive than flatting so that extra bit each month will help out! Also nice to have my hard work recognised. I got the same old “you take on too much” story then we discussed how I like to be busy and if I really don’t want to do something I won’t – I’m stubborn like that. My boss I think is well aware of my stubborn nature and generally just leaves me to get on with things. For that I am grateful as I just manage myself and can carry out my work as I see fit.

I don’t do New Years resolutions, nor do I take part in the “new year, new me” train of thought either. I do however find myself with recurring goals for each year. They change slightly as I get older and wiser; this year I am going to go back to my “no fizzy/soda, energy drinks or sugary drinks unless on special occasions”, and to continue on my healthy eating and exercising regime which to be fair I started properly about 18 months ago and although I’m not quite as strict on my diet I am still going well with that. I every so often crave something bad and if I do I will eat it but mostly I enjoy eating well as I feel unwell if I don’t eat properly.

I hope 2015 is a very happy year for you all

Crazy Cat Lady xx

September Fun

September is the beginning of Spring here in New Zealand and my family was lucky enough to welcome my parents first grandchild, my nephew Charlie into the world. He was ten days early and quite tiny but is such a cutie. I haven’t met him yet as they live in the South Island but I do have a short trip planned in a month to meet my nephew and his lovely mother, my future sister in-law.

I moved house at the end of June and am now facing moving again soon. The owner of our house is having financial difficulty so is putting the house on the market. The couple I live with got engaged a couple of months ago so they are going to find a home of their own, and I thought this is the perfect opportunity to live on my own (with the cats). I’m excited to live on my own but not overly keen on the packing, moving and unpacking part! Mum told me to write down my ideal new abode so here goes universe; my requirements are as follows: safe area, within my meagre budget, same distance to work as now (ten minutes drive), cat friendly, not on a main road, quiet street, off street car parking, a separate bedroom to living/kitchen area, clean and tidy, not damp and mouldy, so a sunny warm spot. I think that’s it!

The cats were friends for a few weeks after we moved as they arrived at the same time and were let out of their travel cages at the same time. But the hierarchy has returned but the fights aren’t as often or violent which pleases me. They went through a stage of vomiting up their food on a daily, actually on a meal to meal basis. Ugh so gross! So now they have different meat and less biscuits and no vomiting! The fat one is even fatter, I picked her up the other day and thought to myself “gees, you’ve put in a kilo in a week!” So think she’s eating the other ones food haha

It’s time to get ready for the All Blacks vs Argentina rugby game so this ends my blog for today. My goal for the rest of the year is to write more often, so we will see how that goes.

Crazy Cat Lady xx

Eventful May

Hello lovely people,

I hope you are all having a lovely weekend :) I woke up yesterday feeling absolutely terrible, like I’d been on a bender and hadn’t quite slept off the drunk or worked into the hangover. I didn’t drink on Friday night! I rarely drink these days and when I do *touch wood* I don’t get hungover or wake up drunk as I only have a few instead of having a few to start the night out! I woke up initially at 8am and fed the cats who had politely waited until then to start miaowing and scratching at my door and in general being a nuisance. I then stumbled back to my bed to wake at 11.30am. This is unheard of for me, especially as I’d been asleep before midnight Friday so that was A LOT of sleep for someone who regularly gets 6 hours and thinks that 6 hours of unbroken sleep is the work of a magician. I forced myself up and to have breakfast, and get on with my day. Which was to go and do the grocery shopping, then picked up my flatmate and our friend and we went to get our nails done. My flatmate and I were not quite as excited as our friend; he has been asking us for about three weeks “when are we getting our nails done?” so the fact that we FINALLY went made his week, perhaps even month haha No he’s not gay even though my other flatmate proceeded to tell him this must be a sign of that. My friend and flatmate got pedicures, I rudely (instant response) said “NO” when the lovely lady at the nail salon asked if I was too, I instead just got a gel manicure. I think I have a phobia of feet, or surrounding feet. I HATE with all my being having my feet touched, the few times I’ve sprained my ankle has been unbearable on more than one level when at physiotherapy as of course it hurts but more painful is the having my foot touched! I kick, I scream, I threaten, all of this is the instant and very strong reaction to the whole thing. The thought of having a pedicure makes my skin crawl and watching my friends get theirs done has assured me I made the right decision. Not only that the amount of dead skin that is peeled off is just disgusting. I also hate other people’s feet. I’m sorry but feet are not pretty, they are not something to be enthused by, they are useful and get us from A to B and we can adorn them with magnificent shoes but they are not pretty and I do not want to know about your feet. So aside from that it was quite a pleasant Saturday. We then made bruschetta (our version of) for a very late lunch before cooking spaghetti and meatballs for dinner and then brownie for dessert. That was not a “clean” meal at all! 

Today I have been watching online TV – 2 Broke Girls has my attention at the moment, and of course Big Bang Theory. I am in need of a new show to watch online though so any suggestions gratefully received. I don’t like Game of Thrones, I’ve fallen asleep watching it about four times now and it just doesn’t interest me. I’m about to attempt Breaking Bad or Orange is the New Black but keen to hear about any others.

My good friend moved back from the UK late last year and was intending on being here to stay. Last night she told me she’s off again at the end of May and her leaving do is next Saturday so as sad as it will be to say goodbye it will be fun to see everyone and say goodbye (for the second time). She’s either going to Germany or Ireland. Germany is her first choice if she can get a job but apparently it is tricky to get a job there if you don’t speak German – she does not. 

In addition to my online TV watching (I’m not normally this lazy but as I am STILL recovering from my head cold / flu I am having yet another “rest day” and will get back into exercise tomorrow) I’ve been online looking at google images of ombre hair styles. I decided I need a change and a bit of “sprucing up” as my Dad would say. I’ve got long(ish) dark brown hair and haven’t coloured it for at least 6 months and haven’t cut it for even longer. My regrowth (thankfully) is only a few shades lighter than the bulk of the hair so it’s not the horrendous look it could be. I was going to wait and see what my natural colour is once it gets longer but I don’t know that I can! I’m hopeful that a talented hair dresser can take it back to the natural brunette and then we can ombre over that. I also don’t know if my wallet will handle it haha Time will tell I guess.

As for my title “eventful May” it appears that everything is happening in May. My friends leaving party, then the following weekend I’ve been invited to two different 21st birthday parties and also a “cool kids” outing with my work buddies. Work buddies win on this account as at 27 I find myself thinking “I’m too old for this shizz” when I go to 21st’s. But really that’s just a poor excuse to bow out of attending. One of them is a 1920’s theme and I definitely do NOT want to dress up. I don’t know why, ordinarily I get into it and dress up in theme but I just don’t want to. The other 21st is held at a friends house and I think they are trying to boost numbers as I don’t even know the birthday girl! So that is my third option for that evening, possibly even fourth after the staying home option!

Anyway that’s about it from me, have a lovely rest of your weekend.

Crazy Cat Lady xx

Easter Weekend

Happy Easter everyone! 

I’ve had a pretty good weekend so far, Friday just hung out at home and watched a flatmate move out and another move in (was quietly pleased to not be required to assist!). The new flatmate is another’s girlfriend so we now have a spare room and the house has a harmonious feel. The flatmate who left doesn’t get along with the fourth of our group – stupid argument which myself and the only guy in the flat found hilarious but apparently is quite serious to these two. 

Yesterday I got up early and with the new flatmate we did our grocery shopping. I may have to take the hit on my Saturday sleep in and get up early so I’m at the supermarket on opening as it’s so calm and quiet and all the good stuff is still there! The fruit & vege shop had only just opened by the time we got there but the produce we scored is the best I’ve gotten in a while (and I haven’t purchased any substandard) so looking forward to a week of uber fresh salads and bananas! Not together, that would be weird.

I then braved an outlet mall and was unsuccessful in my mission to find better running shoes so then went to another smaller group of shoes and found the perfect shoes. In my head I had criteria of what is required as I’m sure some of the shin splints and pain I get in my feet is from the shoes or rather lack of support in current shoes as they are old – still in good condition and a good pair for the gym but not really up to scratch for 8km walks. So new shoes purchased I went home for a 3 hour nap :O It was great!

Last night I went out with a group of friends to dinner and then the comedy club in Auckland. I had a few drinks, not too many but a few. My stomach isn’t happy with me today. I’m unsure if it’s from the lack of food during the day yesterday, the alcohol (as I very rarely drink) or the different (yet super tasty) food I ate last night, OR the mcdonalds I ate at midnight as the entire car load was hungry; dinner had been at 7pm and we had sat through two shows of comedy and were “starving”. I didn’t sleep well, but don’t feel to tired today which is nice. My knee hurts a little as I’d worn heeled boots so may need to work on that a little. I’m proud that I went out and managed to have a few drinks without over doing it and today I am feeling great (aside from sore stomach). I had intended on coming home to go down the road (like three houses) to a mates for more drinks and even purchased a bottle of wine to take with me. I thought better of this at 1am as I was finishing my quarter pounder and went to bed instead – I think this was a very wise and mature thought to have had at 1am hehe perhaps I’m becoming responsible in my old age ;)

I hope everyone has a great rest of their Easter Weekend, be safe and have fun.

Crazy Cat Lady xx

So I’m a bit shabby at this keeping a blog thing, actually a lot shabby at it! But hopefully that makes the posts far more entertaining!

I re-read the last one and I have news relating to that! The incompetent guy resigned and his last day was yesterday!! yay! We have a new one in place and he seems ok so far but I’ve also heard some rumours from the boys. It’s funny how the rumours/gossip comes from the boys at work (granted there are only 5 females and I’m one of them) and they are so bad for it. It doesn’t go further than me though so maybe that’s why I hear it all as they know it goes no further. So in short; I’m pretty happy that we have a new production manager. The new one has come from a similar background so hopefully will have a bit more luck with it. He’s away all next week so I have to cover along with someone else. I like doing that, I get along well with all the guys (hence the gossip I hear!) and apparently I’m their “darling” – I’m not sure if I should be flattered by this or offended that they don’t take me seriously! They do try to help out so I guess it’s a compliment. 

It wouldn’t be a post from me without something about the cats or fitness….

The cats. They drive me nuts. They have recently decided to watch the several crickets that are creeping around our house and wait for the crickets to get under the TV stand and then try to get under it after them. The cats can’t get under it anymore than they can fit under the front door. But they insist on this method of bug catching. They have also bailed up a couple of mice behind the fridge, one mouse is definitely still there; I saw it earlier today but require assistance in moving fridge for cats to get in behind it. They sit for hours staring at the fridge, well now I know behind the fridge. They are currently as I write this fighting, so I have banished them both from my bedroom and they can continue the fighting and general noise making in the rest of the house. It wasn’t a good plan as it’s 10.35pm and I’m home alone hearing crashing and banging in the house. A little disconcerting.

 

Fitness. My fitness levels are on the up and up all the time. I walked last weekend for 6.42kms and ended up with bad shin splints, I then did a 6.6km walk Thursday evening and no shin splints! Yay! Not sure how or why that happened but I won’t question or knock that. I’ve been doing leg weights (and upper body too) and had increased to 140kgs on the leg press but I discovered today a bruise on my left knee (my recovering knee) that is from the stress of the weights and cardio I’ve been doing. Scales wise I’ve only lost 5kgs, measurements wise about 13cm on average. I am starting to see muscle definition in my arms and my shoulders are no longer flabby, my thighs and knees are far less flabby which is awesome and my butt is definitely not as flabby. Someone told me one of the guys in the factory likes me going out there cos he gets to check out my butt as I walk away. I was secretly quite chuffed that my hard work is paying off, I just said to the person who told me this that I didn’t care and he better not think he can touch it. That would be strange.

I realised that I have been relying a lot on my flatmates to entertain me, or rather because we have all had no other plans we have fallen into the habit of hanging out each weekend which is great and I love hanging with them. But then when the couple have something to do I’m at a loss. So I decided I have to start making more of an effort with my other friends. I sometimes can’t be bothered or else am required to drive half an hour or more to make some events and sometimes that’s the last thing I want to do. It’s not too bad as I don’t drink a lot of alcohol at the moment, as in tonight I had a lovely whisky and coke but that’s about as far as the drinking goes. Also everyone wants to stay home. If I’m going out, I want to actually go out. Otherwise I’ll stay home at my own home where I can sit around in track pants or leggings (worn as pants)! So hopefully I actually make good on the thought of making more of an effort! Time will tell ;)

Time to sign off and pay attention to my trashy mag and crank up the music I’m listening to on Spotify. I recently discovered the joys of Spotify and am making my own “perfect” playlists. Full of rnb & hip hop currently. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned before but for me a life without music would be a life not worth living. I listen to music all the time. It is very rare that I don’t have the radio or IPOD or now spotify going. It soothes me, keeps me calm and makes me happy. So I’m off to my happy place of music playing loudly….

Hope everyone else is having a good weekend, and have a lovely short week ahead of Easter.

Take Care,

Crazy Cat Lady xx

 

Just about had it

It all started with a work colleague leaving almost a year ago; vacating a vital and horrendously busy position within the company. Production manager. The man who left has two masters degrees and was vastly under utilised and I’m sure probably quite bored. It all got too much and he basically lost the plot and quit. It’s a stressful and thankless role but it’s a vital position and needs to be held by someone with decent to impeccable organisational skills.

Someone was promoted from within the company only to last a few months with my assistance – he also burnt out. So we get our third production manager in five months. This is the current one. I don’t like to use the word useless to describe people as it’s awful but this dude is useless. He is totally and utterly lost and his disorganised scattered style of management is making my life hell.

I don’t report to this guy, I barely speak to him now as when I’ve tried running things past him I get “I’m too busy for this” or similar shirking responsibility. That’s cool; I don’t mind managing your staff and doing a good 40-50% of your job whilst doing 100% of my own and 20% of someone else’s. I don’t mind the ten hour days, two hours of which are unpaid as I’m on salary. I don’t mind being screamed at, told I’m incompetent and generally bearing the brunt of customer frustrations due to your incompetence.

It’s unbelievable this person is still employed, I can’t fathom how or why he still has this job. The man is clearly out of his depth and in the heart of struggle city. He’s given up trying to sort the chaos that is his factory and left it to me and one other who like me does the work because it needs to be done. The factory staff like the manager but don’t respect him, they run rings around him and get away with murder.

Today I told my boss that if he wasn’t careful he would lose staff and customers and that if another person screams at me I’d be going home. Five minutes later an email appears summoning us to a “who does what” meeting next week that I’ve been pushing for for the last two weeks! Finally! I hope with some structure we can get back on track.

I feel quite frustrated as I know I could do that job, hell I am doing that job. Just not getting paid for it. I hate the thought of our company being thought of as incompetent as eventually we will lose customers due to the errors. It’s not hard to be good at what we do, it does take hard work, discipline and a little pride in your work but it’s not hard as in mentally hard.

So yes I’ve just about had enough too. Lazy people and stupid people annoy me no end, this is a combination of the two. A dangerous combination of the two. I just want to slap the lazy and stupid from him…. Don’t worry I’ll refrain haha

Ahhhh…. I’ve ranted to my Mum and now to you. I feel better ;) what helped was a mammoth cleaning session of my house. It sparkles now.

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