There’s nothing like a little clarity to knock you out of your idyllic dream world.
I’m having a hard time at work the past few days. I was always aware that the two girls I work with are quite close with each other (close than I am with either one) and that’s cool with me. They are quite similar and I don’t wish to be that close to any work colleague as it is. Over the past few months I’ve slowly learnt that the friendship I thought we had is not quite so. In December someone started spreading rumours about me at work (separate issue) and these two girls believed him over me, despite this person being a notorious liar. This was the first indicator that the so-called friendship is a little one sided.
Yesterday they went to lunch together as they usually do, again fine by me except when it’s busy and I’m left on my own but in the big scheme of things it’s not important. We get 30 minutes for our lunch break but they took over an hour. This is not necessarily my business as I don’t pay their wages, however an apology or some sort of acknowledgement that they had taken so long would have been nice. I realise now that this was probably expecting too much! Anyway as I was so annoyed by them (their spending time on facebook instead of working then passing work onto me is also another pet peeve!) I was quiet yesterday afternoon, not rudely so but just not chatting or taking part in their conversation. I had sent an email whilst they were out asking for them to remember to do something in order for me to report on an area I manage so I’m unsure if that (as I CC’d their manager in as they simply ignore my verbal requests – admittedly the email was sent due to my annoyance but wasn’t in the least bit rude as it was simply “please remember to do this so I can report”) or the quietness on my part has caused the behaviour I’m experiencing or not.
Yesterday one was right bitch – sorry but there is no other way to describe it and the other one just didn’t answer me when I spoke but at least wasn’t nasty. This morning I had gotten over myself and was starting fresh, today is a new day after all. I said good morning to each as usual, one could barely manage a response (I’m still unsure what it was but as it was the bitchy one I feel like it’s best I don’t know!) and the other ignored me. So pretty much the same as yesterday afternoon. Now I feel like I’m probably being overly sensitive as it is definitely their problem (and I am sure that my quietness contributed to their sulk yesterday); however as I work with these two girls and sit very closely to them it does make it a little awkward. There is one other person who sits near us, he sits behind me and we are quite good friends so I’m happy he’s there or it would be a quiet sad time for me! He was only recently moved there and so I’m ever so grateful.
I was messaging my Mum on facebook earlier and venting to her, nearly in tears (unlike me as I’m not a crier – it makes me angry then I cry more and become a teary mess!) and venting to her certainly helped. Now I’m finishing my venting with this blog in order to let this go and rise above.
I have this tight spot at the top of my spine where my neck and shoulders met; it is easing as I feel less irritated and more amused by the “little darlings” behaviour.
I’ve never really had friends in workplaces purely as I want to avoid this sort of awkward and unnecessary stress but I’ve been here nearly 5 years and it’s a long time to work somewhere. The other girls 1 & 2 years each but as we are all a similar age we seemed to fall into socialising outside of work. I don’t socialise with them as much as they do with one another nor do I have a steady stream of texts/snap chats etc either. I am glad that a close friend is back from Australia until Wednesday so we along with a few others I’ve not seen for a while are going to catch up this weekend plus am out to dinner with another set of friends tomorrow night so I will be well past this by the time Monday rolls around. I can only hope these other two have gotten over themselves by then too.
I normally would call someone out when behaving this way as I dislike such tension but as I said above I don’t feel like this is my problem, and as they don’t have the decency to tell me what it is that is bothering them I won’t be asking.
The moment of clarity came when messaging Mum; this isn’t my problem and this is always going to happen when women work together. Also; I’m not going to let the pettiness of others bring me down, they have no right to any space in my head so out that negative energy goes!
Rant over, I’m looking forward to the weekend and enjoying spending time with my friends.
Have a lovely weekend folks.
Crazy Cat Lady xx