I'm just a girl with a blog

April Update

Wow it’s amazing how quickly things can change and in some cases unravel.

I HAVE A JOB!! A new job that is. I phoned the manager of a sister company Friday a week ago to enquire about a role he had available doing a similar sort of role but more on the labour side of things rather than manufacturing. He rang me back; told me about the job, we agreed on a salary package that suited me and hours I’d be doing. He said no need for an interview he’s known me for five years. So we hung up with him saying he would email a job description (which he did) and would phone the following week to see how I felt. He rang Wednesday last week and asked what I thought of the job, I said “seems pretty good” and his reply was “cool, jobs yours if you want it” and that was that. The contacts arrived Thursday and I resigned on Friday.

Friday wasn’t a good day at work for me; my boss was actually in shock. He couldn’t speak when I handed him my letter. A few hours later after telling my friends there and the people who I care about (everyone was happy for me) my boss asked for a chat. He then starts off telling me how he thinks of his staff as family and how my resignation upset him and shocked him. He had more of a spiel planned but clearly read my face and decided to cut to the chase. He told me he had been “reconsidering” my application for the management role I applied for and to not take this as a knee-jerk reaction but genuine. Now I don’t know about anyone else but for me if someone has to tell me they are genuine that is a good indicator they are not. I told him that I had made up my mind and wouldn’t be staying. He wisely chose to end the chat there.

My best friend at work resigned today. He was always going to and it came as no shock to anyone. He got a job with a different sister company. According to the rumour mill it is my fault he resigned. That amuses me and pisses me off in one. Amusing as this guy was going to leave regardless of what I did; admittedly we did think it would be awesome to resign at the same time as we hope that proves our point (realistically we know it won’t) but pisses me off as I had no part in his decision. Yes we talked to each other about how we were feeling and how we wanted to leave. I think someone overheadrd a conversation we had friday when he was telling me how he was offered my role but slightly altered to include a bit more logistics. I simply said” think carefully if you do take it as you know how hard that will be, it will be terrible. If you stay make sure there are clear guidelines and agreements in place. I wouldn’t do it”. At that time the person who accused me of encouraging my friend to leave walked past where we were. It was a stupid place to have a private conversation and at that time we didn’t realise that I’d have to be so careful. They are definitely watching me and I’ve been asked to not be so negative about work. I don’t recall being negative but fair enough if they think that then I guess I have to make damn sure I’m nothing but positive. My friend laughs at the idea that it was me making him leave, as did the blabbermouth who told me that. I was just speaking to another manager (in Palmy) who roared laughing and said “we all knew he was going to leave, you were the wild card my friend. Don’t worry about it”. Easy to say when it’s not your character people are insulting!

My other work buddies are sad. One of my buddies is 68 and such a lovely little old man. He came to me today to tell me he is very upset with me because I’m leaving him. Anyone would think I’m dying or never going to be seen again. I live so close to work and will be in contact with them a lot as my new work buys from current work. Nice to know that I’ll be missed. I also can’t really tell any customers due to my contract about not soliciting customers. I would never do that but given the current state of play with these people I’m letting the blabbermouth guy in the factory to tell everyone. I asked him today to make sure he tells everyone.

I’m so angry though; I have busted my ass and gone above and beyond for the past five years and I feel like the last few months I’ve had all that thrown back in my face. My application for that management role wasn’t even decline with respect, just in a meeting in passing saying I wasn’t suitable and that my immediate manager would be there for the next year or so. Then they keep interviewing candidates. Then I resign and he tells me he was reconsidering my application. No, that is not good enough. You should have given me that job when I applied, when I wanted it. Not because you realised how much I do and me going puts everyone under pressure. Then the office manager (person who accused me of being negative etc) tells me had she known I was going to leave she would have found me more to do. (My reasons for leaving were for something new, needing more to do etc). Again; too late. Why wait until someone resigns before offering them something you think they would like to do or would do well. I don’t get why people WAIT for these things to happen.

I have to learn to keep calm and keep my mouth shut for the next month. My Dad (bless him) told me a couple of things; 1. Eff them, they didn’t recognise your hard work before so why would you stay now that they are just realising? – good point Father dearest; they are only grasping at straws because they are desperate. 2. Don’t tell them the full reason why you’re going, it will drive them crazy speculating. Also a very good point, and well put as I am a bit passive aggressive so that is right up my alley of just using my resignation as my aggression. Also I’d like to leave on a high note, although that is fast slipping away with their ridiculous thoughts about me.

I had a phone call today from one of my new crew, he seemed to have drawn the short straw of finding out if the rumour they heard of me going to them was true. I confirmed that and he was so excited; yelling in my ear and talking so fast I have no idea what he said. I think they are happy it’s me as they know they will be in capable hands. The best way to describe him is “excitable puppy” that’s the impression I got, that he was jumping up and down with excitement. That phone call came at the right moment, cheered me up and made me realise that I’ve made the right decision. I will be sad to leave my crew and I will be sure to make an effort to come back and see them or call them. The boys are already making sure we are having a leaving do of some sort as they want to say goodbye properly. I think perhaps an excuse to drink? But a nice thought nonetheless.

So it’s with a mixture of excitement, anger and sadness that I am writing this. I’m excited for a new job and new adventures. I love a challenge and have a real thirst for knowledge. I’m angry that they have treated me with such disrespect and think so little of me, and I’m angry with myself for expecting better. The sadness comes from knowing there are some people I’ll miss seeing every day and also from their sadness that I will not be there. The anger is going and I hope it does go very quickly as anger (well this level of anger) gives me quite bad headaches and I don’t want or need that. So this blog was to let go of some of that anger. The next one may be a letter to my boss haha

Have a lovely week folks, take care and be happy

Crazy Cat Lady xx

A hard dose of reality

It’s funny how life can take a sharp turn off the path you thought you were on in such a short space of time.

Since I last posted one of my work mates was seriously injured at work; he lost many litres of blood (no exaggeration, ambulance still hadn’t arrived after 45 mins and he was bleeding heavily through bandages the entire time) and is lucky to be alive. He’s had surgery on his left hand and over a week later still has no sensation in the pinky finger. He sliced a tendon and nerve and is undergoing shock therapy to try to shock the nerves in that pinky into behaving properly. I feel so sorry for the poor guy whose stuck at home bored out of his brain. He’s a fairly sociable guy and being stuck at home on his own will be driving him mad. Also not being allowed to go to the gym or have a normal routine is hard. I text him every few days to check on him and let him know whose been asking after him, and just to have a chat as I know only too well how boring it is stuck at home unable to go anywhere.

He was injured two weeks ago Thursday and on the Friday I was called into a meeting with the branch manager, acting factory manager and the guy whose now covering for the injured lad. We were promised several changes in order to make this covering of roles work and have divided up the role so I do the paperwork and some organising side of things and my buddy does the manual side of it. Some of that did not happen. In this meeting I was told that I was unsuccessful in my application for factory manager; (not in those words but far more bluntly) and that they would prefer to leave the acting manager in that role. I find that quite rule and disrespectful to not at least have a one on one chat with me but ok I let that go as we were in crisis mode and wondering how our mate was getting on and there wasn’t a lot of free time for one on one chats.

Fast forward to Saturday just gone when the factory staff underwent some vital training and were all told not to date the paperwork they handed in. My friend did as he said he doesn’t sign things without dating, especially this particular course. We are fairly certain that they will backdate the training to try to avoid some of the hefty fine as OSH is investigating. The last rumour I heard was a fine from $25K-$50K but that value could get a lot higher depending on the outcome. Since the incident some of us have been far more vigilant with noticing hazards and notifying management. Most of it is ignored or else we are told “it’s not broken, just bent” for example. What a joke.

The final nail in the coffin is after I was told that they would keep the acting factory manager on and I would move into his role; yesterday they interview an outsider for the job. A simple “sorry you weren’t successful this time and we are going to look to keep looking for outside candidates” and although I would have been a little disappointed I wouldn’t have felt so angry. I find that extremely disrespectful and so underhanded. I think it’s the sneakiness that bothers me most.

Anyway the point of my rant is; I’M DONE. I do not want or need to be in that kind of environment. I want to work somewhere that employee safety and well being is important and doesn’t come before profit. Where adequate training is provided and where money is spent upgrading machinery and tools so that the risk of incidents is lowered.

My friend is leaving too, as is the guy who is injured (although he’s a way off that as he needs to heal first etc) and so is someone else. My friend and I hope we can have the same last day as that could make our point for us, I realise that is quite naughty of us as that is leaving them in the lurch but that’s how we feel.

I spent yesterday evening talking to my parents about this and how I’m feeling. They know only too well how I get and that I have a very strong sense of “fair” and they know that because I know feel as though this workplace is a “fair” and healthy environment there is nothing that can keep me there. I don’t dislike the job or even most of the work colleagues, and even my annoying customers are all good. But what I cannot and will not stand is the dishonest and disrespectful behaviour from management. No wonder we had a thief in management. This evening I have spent a happy few hours on http://www.seek.co.nz job hunting and making applications. I forgot how much fun it is to write exciting and captivating cover letters.

I’m excited, I’ve got this new adventure to look forward to. I’m also a little scared, some of these jobs are TOTALLY different to any industry I’ve worked in before and will definitely be a challenge. Then I’m excited again as I do love a challenge and after five years in the one place it is time to move on. I can’t move up the ladder any further any time soon and I’m ambitious. I only stayed this long as that empty promise of my immediate managers role kept me there. That goal post keeps getting further and further away and today I realised; I don’t want that any more. I want a new and exciting role where I’m appreciated and paid for the work and effort I put in.

So wish me luck with my job hunting.

Have a good week & stay safe

Crazy Cat Lady xx

A Big Decision

In light of the thief’s departure at work this has left a job vacancy. A job that I told, no promised myself when he was appointed that if this one failed I would apply. This it the fourth factory manager in the 5 years I’ve been working there. The first was AMAZING and I can only hope that if I get this job I do him justice. The first one taught me so much about what I do know and was very good at explaining things so that they made sense. This man once spent half an hour folding paper to show me how things would look when they are made. Best factory manager EVERRRRR. Anyway after he left (after a long and hard 8 years with the company) someone internal stepped in and unfortunately couldn’t handle the stress and when he just got the hang of things gave up. Then someone else came along who was out of his depth both with our product and the staff. Then the thief was appointed. I disliked him from day one and I think subconsciously made a vow that I would have his job. I didn’t highlight his theft to take his job, I hadn’t even thought of that at that point.

It’s in this week that I’ve really been wondering; should I? Then yesterday my friend at work text me that he and the dispatch guy think I should have that job and when was I going to talk to our boss. They harassed me (nicely) about it ALLLLL day yesterday. This morning I put on the big girl pants and went to chat to my boss. I asked if he had time for a chat and he looked very worried as usually that is the start of someone resigning haha I said I wanted to see what his thoughts were on my applying for that job and if he would consider me then consider me applying. He looks puzzled and said “I thought I spoke to you about this last time?” and I’m sitting there thinking “oh f***! That’s a no!” but it wasn’t! He said that obviously I wouldn’t want or be expected to “roll up my sleeves and jump on a machine”. As much as I am about equality for women and anything men can do I can also do I am also a realist and the machine operator roles are not something I am physically capable of simply because I don’t have the strength nor am I big enough for that! He said that the only thing he thinks I’d need work on is the Healthy & Safety aspect as I haven’t done any of that yet. But there are courses and my eye for detail is an asset for that side of things. So I have a very real chance of getting this promotion. I only told one my friend at work, said he could tell the other guy if he chose but I wasn’t going to be telling anyone else. I don’t want it known by all, as if by some chance I don’t get it I don’t want people knowing. My boss told me that the only thing he has to really decide is if he wants to take me off the path I’m on now as they are grooming me for another management role or let me take this one. I said I’d like to take this one as I want a challenge now. I want to be challenged and make use of my problem solving skills and knowledge of our systems, products, customers and staff.
The job is advertised with a recruitment company and my boss said he would discuss with them about not having a fee if he gives the job to someone internally. He said my name has been mentioned the past few times the job has been vacant and that my name has been put forward by several people time and time again. That in itself is a huge compliment. So fingers crossed for me people and watch this space. I’m excited to be considered and definitely considering the job mine as I totally believe in the power of positive thinking. I’m also excited by the thought of a company ute, phone and pay rise (not that I know what the pay is for this job) that goes with this job. The professional and personal advantages and growth with this job would be fantastic.

Have a wonderful weekend

Crazy Cat Lady xx

March

Update on the nasty girl work thing.

Monday last week was much the same as the Friday and I was away sick Tuesday.On Tuesday the office manager had a meeting with them about their internet usage, their slack work ethic and other general things they were doing they shouldn’t have been. She also told them to sort out the tension as it was unbearable for all. Tuesday evening the girls were messaging me on facebook as nothing had happened (we had a group message set up so we could chat). Wednesday I was at work for half a day but had to come home as I was still so sick. The girls were definitely making an effort which I appreciate and one of them shared with me her news that she is pregnant. I’m excited for her and was happy to have been told so early on. I can’t say I fully trust these girls now and I don’t want to spend time with them outside of work any more as if they could turn on me so suddenly for nothing once they can do it again. I was away again Thursday so someone else looked after my emails etc. I was back Friday and very busy but it was better again ,the other one was looking for a new job and I think that is why she’s been so disruptive but that shouldn’t become my issue, she’s the one with the problem with work or whatever so she should leave that behind and get on with her job. The only reason she’s stopped looking for a new job as it’s “too hard” to find one and interviews are awkward. It is funny as I hear them complaining about how busy they are etc and as I’m no longer allowed to help them so they have to stop being on facebook and trademe and do their jobs.

I’ve decided the one who was going to be leaving is the ringleader with the nasty behaviour and is the one I definitely DO NOT trust at all. After we all agreed that it was best none of the factory staff knew it was me who highlighted the thief’s actions (more on this below) she went and told the biggest gossip in the factory. He then cornered me and asked me “do you have something to tell me?” firstly I was thinking what a creep as I didn’t know what he was talking about so my answer was “no?” then he asked was I sure then I clicked to what he meant so I said to him “no I’ve got nothing, do you feel the need to ask me something?” and so the conversation went from there. I know it was her as her boyfriend who works with us also is the only other one who knows aside from the one person I consider my true friend there and the two girls (and of course the bosses). She is trying to be friendly and certainly is a lot better but there is still a nasty undertone to what she is saying and I wonder sometimes if I’m imagining it because I dislike her or if it’s actually there. Still wary and am glad when work is done so I don’t have to see her. They still send me snapchats, I reply to the pregnant one occasionally as she has actually gone back to normal and it is like nothing happened. I don’t trust her either nor can I go back to being friends with her but I do feel more comfortable with her so maybe in time I will trust her again I’m not sure. It’s not an issue for me either way.

THE THIEF.

Finally he’s gone! It’s only taken the better part of a year (since he started) to prove it but I’m proud to stay I was the one who stood up and said hey I think what he’s doing is wrong. So many people knew for sure and had proof and did nothing. I didn’t have much to go on except a hunch and that I’m not as stupid as he clearly thought I was. He still doesn’t know it was me, well as far as I know he doesn’t know it was me. I don’t care either way, if you are going to steal and be stupid enough to have paperwork showing you stole then that’s not my problem. I can’t go into great detail but my friend at work and I have been waiting and planning for a year to catch this guy out. We are so relieved the guy is gone!

The sudden departure of him has changed things though; my immediate manager has taken over that role and the guy I work with and I are not clear on whose in charge. We have been told we are a team and neither of us are in charge. Now we are quite close so we talk a lot at work and outside of work. We both are well aware that there is no-one in charge because both of us have been promised that job at one point or another and our overall manager is well aware that my friend would leave if I’m made in charge (nothing to do with me as he said he would actually quite like me to be his manager but the fact is that job was promised to him long before I came along) and we are pretty sure that the manager knows that I would probably consider leaving too if I was bypassed for this role. Which is correct. One of the main things that keeps me there when it’s turned to custard is knowing that eventually that job will be mine. I’m considering putting my hand up for the other role but I am not 100% sure. I need to carefully think about it. I also think that my immediate manager is doing it permanently. You wouldn’t take a work ute home and then spend three hours cleaning it if you were only doing it temporarily, would you?! My friend is considering leaving :( I would be quite sad to see him go, we do work well together and he’s so good at his job. It would be hard to replace him. But such is life I guess.

Time to get outside and enjoy the weekend, have a good one everyone :)

Crazy Cat Lady xx

Clarity

There’s nothing like a little clarity to knock you out of your idyllic dream world.

I’m having a hard time at work the past few days. I was always aware that the two girls I work with are quite close with each other (close than I am with either one) and that’s cool with me. They are quite similar and I don’t wish to be that close to any work colleague as it is. Over the past few months I’ve slowly learnt that the friendship I thought we had is not quite so. In December someone started spreading rumours about me at work (separate issue) and these two girls believed him over me, despite this person being a notorious liar. This was the first indicator that the so-called friendship is a little one sided.

Yesterday they went to lunch together as they usually do, again fine by me except when it’s busy and I’m left on my own but in the big scheme of things it’s not important. We get 30 minutes for our lunch break but they took over an hour. This is not necessarily my business as I don’t pay their wages, however an apology or some sort of acknowledgement that they had taken so long would have been nice. I realise now that this was probably expecting too much! Anyway as I was so annoyed by them (their spending time on facebook instead of working then passing work onto me is also another pet peeve!) I was quiet yesterday afternoon, not rudely so but just not chatting or taking part in their conversation. I had sent an email whilst they were out asking for them to remember to do something in order for me to report on an area I manage so I’m unsure if that (as I CC’d their manager in as they simply ignore my verbal requests – admittedly the email was sent due to my annoyance but wasn’t in the least bit rude as it was simply “please remember to do this so I can report”) or the quietness on my part has caused the behaviour I’m experiencing or not.

Yesterday one was right bitch – sorry but there is no other way to describe it and the other one just didn’t answer me when I spoke but at least wasn’t nasty. This morning I had gotten over myself and was starting fresh, today is a new day after all. I said good morning to each as usual, one could barely manage a response (I’m still unsure what it was but as it was the bitchy one I feel like it’s best I don’t know!) and the other ignored me. So pretty much the same as yesterday afternoon. Now I feel like I’m probably being overly sensitive as it is definitely their problem (and I am sure that my quietness contributed to their sulk yesterday); however as I work with these two girls and sit very closely to them it does make it a little awkward. There is one other person who sits near us, he sits behind me and we are quite good friends so I’m happy he’s there or it would be a quiet sad time for me! He was only recently moved there and so I’m ever so grateful.

I was messaging my Mum on facebook earlier and venting to her, nearly in tears (unlike me as I’m not a crier – it makes me angry then I cry more and become a teary mess!) and venting to her certainly helped. Now I’m finishing my venting with this blog in order to let this go and rise above.

I have this tight spot at the top of my spine where my neck and shoulders met; it is easing as I feel less irritated and more amused by the “little darlings” behaviour.

I’ve never really had friends in workplaces purely as I want to avoid this sort of awkward and unnecessary stress but I’ve been here nearly 5 years and it’s a long time to work somewhere. The other girls 1 & 2 years each but as we are all a similar age we seemed to fall into socialising outside of work. I don’t socialise with them as much as they do with one another nor do I have a steady stream of texts/snap chats etc either. I am glad that a close friend is back from Australia until Wednesday so we along with a few others I’ve not seen for a while are going to catch up this weekend plus am out to dinner with another set of friends tomorrow night so I will be well past this by the time Monday rolls around. I can only hope these other two have gotten over themselves by then too.

I normally would call someone out when behaving this way as I dislike such tension but as I said above I don’t feel like this is my problem, and as they don’t have the decency to tell me what it is that is bothering them I won’t be asking.

The moment of clarity came when messaging Mum; this isn’t my problem and this is always going to happen when women work together. Also; I’m not going to let the pettiness of others bring me down, they have no right to any space in my head so out that negative energy goes!

Rant over, I’m looking forward to the weekend and enjoying spending time with my friends.

Have a lovely weekend folks.

Crazy Cat Lady xx

Welcome 2015

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had a good time celebrating the end of 2014 and beginning of 2015.

It’s been quite some time since I have written here, life sometimes gets away on me and I find that I don’t have time for small pleasures like writing a blog or reading a book. Lately I’ve been reading a lot more, forcing myself to read (as although I enjoy it I’ve been cramming in serious amounts of Netflix watching) and just really relax and take time away from the laptop or iPhone.

Since I last posted I have moved house twice. The first was mid October to a temporary home with a workmate and her partner. I’m so grateful that I could stay with them and they even allowed me to bring the cats. One of my cats got along fabulously with their cat, my other cat however I believe became the victim to the other two! We now live in a small two room house which is hidden behind another (it is entirely separate) and I recently discovered I have a plum and peach tree in the backyard! It’s so nice living on my own, I never thought I would as I would have described myself as an extrovert who required human companionship. Turns out I’m not quite as extroverted as I thought and this time on my own has brought on some realisations that although I love my family and friends dearly and love the time I spend with them; that time I have on my own (with or without the cats) is SO important to me. I have a very close friend who comes to visit me frequently purely because he knows that he can come and sit and watch TV or a movie or just sit quietly and no conversation is required. We have spent an entire day in silence just enjoying the quiet yet enjoying the company. I know so very few people who can just sit peacefully in silence and it not feel awkward, or rather them not feel awkward and force a conversation. I am now a firm believer that everyone should live on their own, it’s a good way to reflect on what is important to you and the things that you value. For me; it’s that quiet alone time. And when I say quiet, it’s not! I always have the radio on so my house is never silent but it’s so peaceful and I cherish that. My cats are so much happier here, they don’t fight as much as they used to, dare I say they may even be beginning to like one another!

We have performance reviews at work every year in December and this year I was lucky enough to be given a decent size pay rise which is fantastic as living on my own is somewhat more expensive than flatting so that extra bit each month will help out! Also nice to have my hard work recognised. I got the same old “you take on too much” story then we discussed how I like to be busy and if I really don’t want to do something I won’t – I’m stubborn like that. My boss I think is well aware of my stubborn nature and generally just leaves me to get on with things. For that I am grateful as I just manage myself and can carry out my work as I see fit.

I don’t do New Years resolutions, nor do I take part in the “new year, new me” train of thought either. I do however find myself with recurring goals for each year. They change slightly as I get older and wiser; this year I am going to go back to my “no fizzy/soda, energy drinks or sugary drinks unless on special occasions”, and to continue on my healthy eating and exercising regime which to be fair I started properly about 18 months ago and although I’m not quite as strict on my diet I am still going well with that. I every so often crave something bad and if I do I will eat it but mostly I enjoy eating well as I feel unwell if I don’t eat properly.

I hope 2015 is a very happy year for you all

Crazy Cat Lady xx

September Fun

September is the beginning of Spring here in New Zealand and my family was lucky enough to welcome my parents first grandchild, my nephew Charlie into the world. He was ten days early and quite tiny but is such a cutie. I haven’t met him yet as they live in the South Island but I do have a short trip planned in a month to meet my nephew and his lovely mother, my future sister in-law.

I moved house at the end of June and am now facing moving again soon. The owner of our house is having financial difficulty so is putting the house on the market. The couple I live with got engaged a couple of months ago so they are going to find a home of their own, and I thought this is the perfect opportunity to live on my own (with the cats). I’m excited to live on my own but not overly keen on the packing, moving and unpacking part! Mum told me to write down my ideal new abode so here goes universe; my requirements are as follows: safe area, within my meagre budget, same distance to work as now (ten minutes drive), cat friendly, not on a main road, quiet street, off street car parking, a separate bedroom to living/kitchen area, clean and tidy, not damp and mouldy, so a sunny warm spot. I think that’s it!

The cats were friends for a few weeks after we moved as they arrived at the same time and were let out of their travel cages at the same time. But the hierarchy has returned but the fights aren’t as often or violent which pleases me. They went through a stage of vomiting up their food on a daily, actually on a meal to meal basis. Ugh so gross! So now they have different meat and less biscuits and no vomiting! The fat one is even fatter, I picked her up the other day and thought to myself “gees, you’ve put in a kilo in a week!” So think she’s eating the other ones food haha

It’s time to get ready for the All Blacks vs Argentina rugby game so this ends my blog for today. My goal for the rest of the year is to write more often, so we will see how that goes.

Crazy Cat Lady xx

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